The Internlog
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Internlog Entry
Do you enjoy being a Christian?
One of the speakers at the Living Leadership conference which we went to this week opened his seminar with the assertion that "most Christians are dissatisfied with their experience of Christianity." It shocked me because I find it so true for myself. I have come to realise that it is my lack of understanding of Grace that is causing this.
We have a little joke among the interns; 'Be careful what you pray for!' I remember a few months ago being challenged by a speaker: do you know that you need a crucified Christ? Since then, I have prayed that I would know my need for a saviour – that I am not my own saviour. God has helped me recently to understand that I am totally in need of Jesus. I am sad that I have been a Christian for so long an not understood my utter need for a saviour! As Bob Fyall put it on Saturday morning, we sing "Worthy is the Lamb" but secretly want to sing "Worthy am I".
I think that the story of the Prodigal Son puts my problem into context. The Son who stayed at home earned his fathers love by the way he obeyed his father. However, the son who ran away and wasted his fathers money recognised he was in need of forgiveness. I think I have spent a long time working hard for God because I think it will keep my in his favour when actually, no mater how 'good' I think I am, I DO need a saviour to put me right.
There has been much talk recently in Kings, both in services, at the Student House Party and in Cell Group about the Christian life being one of 'Grace not Law' – freedom not obligation. "It was for FREEDOM that Christ has set us free", yet I have felt for a long time now that this 'Freedom' we talk about is far from my experience. I can relate very well to the Pharisees who were so keen to honour God that they made themselves many rules (known as 'hedging the law') to ensure they got it right.
Bob Fyall helpfully pointed out on Saturday that Christianity the 'faith' says 'God accepts me, therefore I do good', but Christianity the religion says 'If I do good, God will accept me.' For example, I can confess that I have sucked the joy out of my prayer times by making them a daily necessity. I find myself feeling guilty when I don't have a quiet time, but that guilt is not something God puts on me, it is my own modern day version of 'hedging of the law'.
I wonder if other Christians find that they put rules on themselves? I think that we would find more joy in our walk with Jesus if we recognised the laws we create and ask God to break them down so that we only rely on Jesus: not on out efforts. 'Grace not Law' – freedom not obligation.
Lucy